South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford

This entry was originally published at SafeTinspector

    Hello, yes. I do live in the state of South Carolina. Always have.
    In the past, my state’s big claim to fame has always been that it was the first to secede, plunging the country into Civil War, during which time, thank God, my state’s side lost. Its most famous politicans have always been the pro-slavery John C. Calhoun and pro-segregation Strom Thurmond.
    At least until Mark Sanford–that brave soul–decided that this state should go down in history for something even stupider than not liking black people.
    As you may heard, Governor Sanford mysteriously disappeared for about a week back in June without telling anyone where he was going or bothering to transfer gubernatorial power, leaving open the very pertinent question of just who the fuck was in charge at this time. When asked about Sanford’s whereabouts over that Father’s Day weekend, his own wife responded with a curt “I don’t know where he is.”
    When the Governor finally returned, he held a tear-streaked press conference during which he admitted to having an affair with an Argentinian woman.
    Of course, Governor Sanford vowed to attempt to work things out with his wife, all the while telling everyone that the Argentinian woman was his “soul mate.” Which his wife, presumably, was not–obviously good, solid ground for attempting to reconcile a strained marriage.
    But, it turns out that wasn’t the full extent of Governor Sanford’s incredibly, magnificently stupid plan to get the State of South Carolina remembered for the dumbest thing ever. No, he’s been working on this for years, and only now is the extent of his grand scheme being revealed to the public!
    Because, with his Argentinian excursions, the Governor’s usage of state funds in his travels has come under increasing scrutiny.
    Because, the man who likes to make such a big deal over government spending, the man who refused to accept federal money for our state’s schools on the grounds that he didn’t like President Barack Obama’s stimulus plan (again with the black people!), the man whose Web site features a page drawing attention to the South Carolina Budget Waste of the Day … This man! is responsible for inspiring this AP Story, of which I will now quote my favorite section verbatim:

    On March 10, 2006, a state plane was sent to pick up Sanford in Myrtle Beach and return him to Columbia, the state capital, at a cost of $1,265 — when his calendar showed his only appointment in Columbia was “personal time” at his favorite discount hair salon. He had flown to Myrtle Beach on a private plane and attended a county GOP event.
    The trip home on the state aircraft took off at 1:50 p.m. and arrived in Columbia at 2:35 p.m., enabling the governor to keep his plans for a 3 p.m. haircut across town.

    See, he was being thrifty. It was a discount hair salon. Thank God he made it in time for his appointment. The results speak for themselves.